wavewalker: (O_o)
Ian Wavewalker ([personal profile] wavewalker) wrote2010-10-29 09:16 pm

ONE // Making friends and influencing people already

[ There's a clatter as the phone is knocked off the hook, followed by the sounds of drawers being opened and their contents being sifted through. There's some unhappy muttering, but otherwise the perpetrator of said rummaging is quiet.

Until he is interrupted by a female shriek: ]


Eek!

-! I'm terribly sorry, madam. Is this your home? I appear to have been robbed and--

No! Bad! Get out of there this instant!

I beg your pardon?

Who even let you in the house? I keep telling the children, pets belong outside. Come on.

I let myself in-- pet? I'm no one's pet. Least of all- unhand me this instant. [ there's a snarl that's not quite human, and the sounds of a brief struggle, followed by a THWAP ] What- that was highly unnecessary!

Go on! Outside! I said go! [ silence for a beat, and then the drone woman retreats, calling for her husband to take care of the "filthy animal" in the bedroom ]

What... just happened?

[ The lone resident of 754 Partridge Drive might indeed find something... interesting in the bedroom, if he so chooses to look. ]

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
[If only life were so easy. In fact, while his drone wife was yelling for him to come and chase the animal out of the bedroom, Cyuss was in the bedroom. In the closet, actually, since it's the only place his kids don't come looking for him.

It's freaky, actually, since his house was almost destroyed a few days ago. Man, he hates this family. And this place. He eventually opens the closet door, though, looking around. Why, yes, he's shirtless, who needs clothes? It's his "home" anyways.]


Damn it, what's she cawing about now--hey, what do you think you're doing?! What...the hell? [He sounds more confused than pissed, but seriously. What is this.]

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
You're green and you're stealing my clothes!

[That makes sense, right?]

And what're you doing in my house?

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
Did you see that woman?! She thinks we're married! She's nuts!

[In fact, if his pet looks around, all of the photos of him and his kids? There are objects strategically placed to cover his own face, like a bookmark or a candle. It makes him freak out.]

...wait, so, you're...new to Mayfield, then?

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
Dammit. Guess that means I have to explain it to you.

[He scratches the back of his head.]

So, what are you exactly?

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh, hey, he notices that! Unfair!]

Wait, they let you keep your tail and stripes? They took mine away, those bastards! This place really pisses me off!

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
Daaaaamn, that's pretty...much the same with me, actually. Huh.

[He looks at the nametag. It's upside down to him, so it kind of looks like u-a-l. What kind of name is that?]

Uh...so, apparently, this place...you wake up here, and your shit is gone, and people think you're related to them. [...] I think you're supposed to be my pet. Huh. Oh, and don't drink the tea.

[Congratulations, Ian. You just became the pet of the person with the worst explanation for this place ever. He still freaks out when a car goes by.]

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 07:26 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah? Well...the world pulls people here, apparently. It's not where you're from, and you're never going home. Oh, and if you want your stuff back, you have to go to the post office and trade a few fingers for it.

That better?

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 07:30 am (UTC)(link)
Cyuss Warren. And, uh, no matter what they say, those freaks aren't related to me. Not the crazy chick, and not the little monsters who want me to do math homework with them.

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 07:35 am (UTC)(link)
I don't get it, either, but people here call 'em drones because they act weird. People like me, we're not drones. Still don't know much more than that myself.

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 07:40 am (UTC)(link)
...I've only been here a few weeks. Had a bunch of people running around killing other people, but this place still rubs me the wrong way.

[FIRM. MANLY. HANDSHAKE.]

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 08:22 am (UTC)(link)
Hey. Your, uh, hands feel pretty...interesting. And can't really tell you all that. People use that thing, the telephone...[He gestures at the one in the bedroom.]...to talk to others, but I don't really get a lot of time for that. I have a stupid job and my family is full of freaks.

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-30 08:28 am (UTC)(link)
Nope. Not used to meeting lizards. Doubt you're even from my world, though.

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-31 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
That's what they kept saying. We're from different worlds. You probably don't even know what a Highlander is, huh.

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-31 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
See? You're getting the hang of it! So, uh. Welcome, I guess.

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-10-31 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
...Don't get me wrong, man. This place is still awful. The booze isn't bad, though.

[He makes a fist and hits his stomach a few times.] Don't sweat it! I don't usually wear that shit unless I have to.

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-11-01 09:26 am (UTC)(link)
Your, uh...[He pauses. Sharing drinks might be one thing, but he doesn't hear "First Mate" with capital letters.] first mate? What's that all about?

[identity profile] striped-biceps.livejournal.com 2010-11-03 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
Oh! Right! [Awkward. You are some kind of crazy reptile. The assumptions that he makes!] Yeah, so, uh...want me to send the wife to the store or something?